Whoo! A picture from my DSLR! Okay, I know, it’s not that great of a picture. I’m still learning alot of new techniques since I’ve had no experience whatsoever with DSLRs before. I actually find it ironic that I don’t have many pictures of food so far… I should probably start changing that.

Mmm, above is the well known tri-tip sandwich from Brazil Cafe. I never fail to surprise my roommate that I have eaten at various restaurants in Berkeley and have not been to Brazil Cafe till yesterday, haha. Anyways, it was quite a pleasant meal with my roommates, especially since these are probably one of the last meals that we will have together as a “house” before I move out. We plan to also have a OB Chicken and Cheeseboard run since Erica hasn’t been there yet. I’m looking forward to not only the food, but to also spend time with them since I may not see them as much next year.

I always seem to say that I will update this blog at a regular basis and I often fail to do so. Well, here we go.

Last week was rather eventful since I, like other students, had a stack of projects, presentations, or exams to complete before the sweet weekend/dead week came. Surprisingly, I came down with some infection too that hindered my studies for about a day or two. I also had difficulty walking to classes due to the lack of energy and felt faint. Looking back though, it reminded me again about how little power I had over my schedule and to not be so confident as to what I will do over the week (James 4:13-17) since I would just be boasting in my own arrogance. I guess it was nice too since I was able to catch up on some sleep even though… I feel like I get enough sleep as is.

After reading the book of Proverbs, I was rebuked many times by my humility, or lack there of. It also warns the prone of abandoning God’s word of wisdom and to hold fast to His words. He instructs to not just tolerate our wicked sins, but to “avoid it, do not pass by it; turn away from it and pass on. (Proverbs 4:15 NAS)” We encounter many moments were we are tempted to sin; however, we are to avoid it completely and to not take even one step into its darkness. However, there are many times that we fail, step into the darkness, and stumble. Thanks be to God for his mercy and to forgive us of our imperfections through the blood of Jesus Christ on the cross.

Every week or two, I take my usual stroll to Berkeley Bowl to get the usual groceries:

Apples – a snack that stores a good source of starch, fiber, and pectin for the day. It’s also pretty filling too between breakfast and lunch, which is rather helpful for my growling stomach

Grapes – I find these fun and easy to eat rather than having to cut/peel to get to its sweetest core.

Blueberries – Source of antioxidants for my day that makes a good compliment to my yogurt in the morning

Yogurt – Best breakfast food ever!

The usual – eggs, milk, cheeses, and a selection of vegetables depending on what I plan to make for the week.

While browsing around the store, I had the strange realization that I am not a huge fan of oranges.

At all.

I like tangerines, alot. Heck, I love blood oranges, but I’m not a huge fan of ordinary oranges (ie. naval, valencia, etc.). While walking back to the apartment, I tried to recall back if I had any bad experiences with oranges. Then I realized that, like avocados, I’m not very good a picking ripe oranges. Rather, most of my attempts resulted in dry, sour oranges that I would not be able to stand to eat another slice. I think at some point I gave up trying, and became intrigued by the colors and sweetness of blood oranges.

Recommended by the speakers of the Women’s Q&A session, the book of Proverbs has been my main focus in the Bible lately. Despite the two midterms this week, I’ve been trying to make reading a chapter of Proverbs a habit. Boy, is it alot more challenging than I thought. Each verse, as Hebrews 4:12 vividly describes, pierces “as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” However, I am overwhelmed and constantly convicted by the Word and so thankful to have the privilege having the Bible in easy access.

The book of Proverbs has had me thought about the pursuit of wisdom and the dangers of relying on my own. My knowledge, so limited and essentially nothing compared to that of the almighty God, is an understanding that I must push aside and to acknowledge the Lord and He will make my paths straight (Proverbs 3:6). Even in times of difficulty, I am not to forget His teaching, but to write them on the tablet of my heart (Proverbs 3:3).

Oh, how many allow themselves to be enticed by sin, despite the fact that wisdom has already warned us so many times that “waywardness of the naive will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them.” (Proverbs 2:32) But as believers, we are to “enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.” (Matthew 7:13)

Let us not to rely on our own understanding, but to look onto Yours and Your will only.

After rolling and squirming around in bed for about an hour, I decided to make the (late) New Year’s resolution of updating this blog. It’s actually quite surprising how long I have kept this blog (since 2007 I think), since I am usually fickle and would easily change names or haul my posts to another server. Fortunately, I didn’t. That saves many of your readers (lack thereof) the hassle of changing links or favorites.

So what made me suddenly gear my mind towards updating this when I have many other activities that I could have done in this vast medium called the internet? I’m actually…not sure. I know why I’m avoiding some things I should be doing though. For example, I should really be looking into applying for a research position since by this time I’m actually quite behind on filling up my resume with past experiences/lab internships to attract future employers. But I am lazy. Not just academically actually, I am drained mentally and spiritually.

I noticed that staying at home has made me more lax and easygoing unlike the hustling and bustling in Berkeley. Of course, if there’s anyone that I can point fingers to as to why I am so reluctant to do anything…it is myself.

Winter break has been great and I’m greatly amazed how much time has passed by. I’ve been really thankful to be able to spend time with family and friends from Berkeley and high school, as many people do not have the luxury to do both. I think one of the most memorable times during break was when my sister bought me the same leather bracelet that she recently purchased from Fossil to share our sister-sister relationship. It was a simple bracelet, yet I think it’s an accessory that suited both me and her. If any of you know my sister, she and I have somewhat different preferences ever since we were kids, so I’m so glad that I get to share something with her that is beyond are familial ties…a sister bracelet!

Anyways, expect (I’d hoped to) more updates from me soon! I should sleep since I’m going on a plane tomorrow. Goodbye SoCal, see you in a couple of months.

My food pictures are getting quite old. This was back around mid-September when Eric and I decided on the spur of the moment to make boeuf bourguignon and roasted bell pepper, spinach, and avocado on a toasted baguette. I can also recall Gordon watching the first Green Bay Packers game of the NFL season on TV while crunching away on the baguette sandwich. That was a fun night, though I have to complain how long the boeuf bourguignon took to make since it took me and Eric the whole afternoon to prepare. I guess it was worth it in the end since everyone enjoyed eating the dishes made.

So instead of leaving this blog and allowing it to collect dust, I will try my best in writing in it more often in a less dry, lousy way. After all, I should have learned enough writing techniques in College Writing R1A to allow myself to express myself explicitly and freely, right? I certainly hope so!

What I enjoy most about autumn in Berkeley is seeing the leaves on the trees slowly changing color as the cold winter begins to roll in. Walking on my way to Valley Life Science building, I always notice something different about the scenery and the campus overall. It is really nice to appreciate what is given to us, even at the slightest details. Because of the comfortable weather, I find myself wanting to be outside more often and basking in the sun as the pigment of my skin begins to darken.

While there is so much to gain out of life, losing something or someone always becomes an option, a choice, or even required. I was rather surprised that I have been in a relationship with someone within these last four years, and it was about three weeks ago that I became single. Truthfully, it is a lifestyle that I am still adjusting to and is difficult to adapt to. I am happy to say that I am getting used to it and taking joy in many moments that I have now. Though, the days always bittersweetly end as I begin to think about him. Do I miss him? Of course. But I have learned to accept that I cannot changed what has happened in the past, and knowing that God has much more in store for me and knows that this parting is for the best for us. I will trust Him, and my feet will stand firm in His grace.

The picture above features a picture that Eric took of his brunch plate at Liaison Bistro. Surprisingly, I found his picture to look alot better than most of the pictures that I have featured on my blog. The plate shown is an Ouefs Liaison, which is poached eggs over Dungeness crab cakes topped with hollandaise sauce. Unlike most restaurants that Eric and I tried over the summer, Liaison Bistro was one of the few that we would be willing to go again since the food is not only delicious, but also the really nice service.

These last few months I’ve been on a long hiatus since summer school was very long and tough, yet busy and enjoyable at the same time. Between the endless nights of starting or revising papers, Eric and I would go on short adventures of either trying out restaurants around the Berkeley area, using each other as guinea pigs and do some experiment cooking, or have weekly gatherings of either watching Studio Ghibli movies or Food Network’s “Who Will Be the Next Food Network Star?” Those adventures definitely kept me sane for the most part of the summer, along with the 14/week work hours that I tried keeping up. In the end, most of my paychecks went down the drain due to shopping. So I decided that I am going to make sure I ban myself from shopping, a nearly impossible challenge to overcome.

Overall, I was very pleased with the grade that I received in the course and I was touched by the words of my instructor on the last day of class. I think out of all the professors that I have had the last few semesters, my College Writing instructor was so far the most effective teacher who pushed my boundaries away and kept me going. I learned alot of things from not only the instructor herself, but also the peers who also helped me drive my essays in the right directions. But I would not have gone this far without Eric’s help, and I really apologize since I feel bad for making him come over all the time in the wee hours to help me with my essays. Looking back, I am very happy to have taken this class since it really showed that 1) I don’t completely fail at writing anymore and 2) the work really pays off.

It’s great being back at home again and seeing my family. There were also several things that I was surprised with since my sister changed the look of our room (yay! we have a sofa!) and our bathroom downstairs is having a beauty makeover. I really miss having a dog in Berkeley, I think I am having withdrawal symptoms since I squeal at every dog I come across. Seeing friends was great too, especially with really cheap dim sum!  Gah, I wish I can afford at DSLR! I was playing around with Eric’s and now my urge of getting one has only gotten stronger. I need to save up.

One of the typical dim sum plates that native and foreign people would consume is the turnip cake. This is personally one of my favorites yet something I rarely get/eat because it’s rather difficult to share among my family. Normally, my mom and dad would either get a piece each while the children get the portions. A month or so ago, my friends and I decided to get some dim sum in Chinatown at San Francisco. Despite the fact that the menu selection was rather limited, it was pleasant to have dim sum with friends for the first time.

So I finally have internet at my apartment but I was kind of dumb to not have brought the AC adapter for the wireless router. As a result, I have to be stuck on the modem with two chairs and a laptop in the livingroom. It’s pretty troublesome especially when I’m eating my mean on my lap and typing on the laptop at the same time, so I anticipate having the AC adapter to arrive soon.

Moving into the apartment was rather hectic yet fun at the same time. It’s nice to know that I used the day at it’s fullest going to different places, buying things, and getting things done. Though at the same time, my parents and I are exhausted by the end of the day and I, unfortunately, that I had to settle sleeping on the floor for two nights. Didn’t mind the first night, but the second night really got to me and my back.

After my parents left to drive to southern California, I realized how lonely and scary it was to be in the apartment by myself. With all the paranoia that accumulated in my mind, I left most of the lights on at night as I walked around the apartment or when I slept at night. Yet still, I still felt a chill up my spine every time I went into another room. To alleviate the nervousness I felt, I would call different people to keep me company.

Feeling around loneliness is kind of interesting. Once you feel it long enough, it starts to strip you from what you guard around yourself. The safety blanket that once kept you warm soon unravels, leaving you cold and vulnerable. Some people I know enjoy the feeling of being alone and being away from the people. I do have to agree, I do enjoy having that alone time reserved for myself to muse about random or serious subjects. Though at the same time, too much of that “alone” time makes me a bit scared, a reason why I wasn’t looking forward to being up here.

Before ending this entry, I would like to recommend Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom to anyone who enjoys short, yet great, reading. I haven’t finished yet (3/4 of the way through), but the book has not failed to impressed me and nearly moves me to tears every time I start reading it. Anyways, I shall continue reading while drinking a delicious watermelon agua de fresca.

It was only recently that I began to like pastries to go with coffee. Throughout the year, I always like looking at the café while passing by and seeing people relaxing outside while sipping their favorite beverages. The café soon became one of my favorite places to go to to relax and do homework since it was close to the dorms. One of my favorite pastries is the almond croissant since it’s not too sweet or overbearing. I guess what I enjoy alot about Berkeley is doing my homework in a coffee shop during the weekends since I find it much more relaxing and less distracting than in the dorms.

I’ve completed my finals a little more than a week ago and I received my final grades. There’s a little part of me that wants to nudge myself saying that I could have done better that semester considering I was taking less classes but at the same time I should feel content about how I performed. I guess the bright side in it is that my mom was rather content with my results and didn’t say that I couldn’t keep my job, whew. But in the end, I just hope that I can at least improve as each semester progresses to show at least that I have the ability to do better. Though, I’m still rather frustrated with myself that I am still not able to achieve the area that most people are doing. At the same time, I am still content that it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

Packing up everything after finals was pretty hectic and saddening. In retrospect, I feel pretty fortunate that I was able to be rather close to the floor, close enough that many of the floormates encouraged to have get together dinners every week. I was a bit surprised that the majority of the floor was anything but emotional, but rather everyone looked forward seeing each other again. In the end, there are two ways to approach this kind of situation, and I’m glad that people took the future more optimistically. However, I’m sure everyone knows in reality most of us will probably drift away. I would be pretty surprised and grateful if I end up being wrong next year.

My summer break week went by really quickly, which is rather sad and irritating. I guess the only thing that I got out of the break was to stay up really late and wake up really late…a habit I never did during college and only do at home. I guess that routine never subsided since I would be drowning myself with tea that would make me wide awake. It was the only time that I was away from my parents too, so I really took my time.

Though, the summer wasn’t very enjoyable since there was alot of stuff to take care of in terms of the apartment that two girls and I are sharing. At first, I thought that the outline of the apartment was finalized and ready to go for me to move in. However, I was soon welcomed with scolding and anger from one of my roommate’s parents, which left me frustrated and unhappy with the result. I have to admit, what I did afterwards was rather immature as well (hanging up in the middle of a videochat),  but I was rather “resentful” of how poorly the whole apartment situation was handled. Luckily, all three of us moved passed it since we had more things to worry about for the apartment.

To be honest, I’m quite excited yet a bit sad to live a new life in an apartment. The great upsides to it is that I’m able to cook and experiment on different dishes rather than settling with the rather bland dorm food. I guess there will also be less distraction in terms of studying, so hopefully my grades will improve? However, it definitely will feel different without all the noise down the halls of the dorms and the accessibility of seeing friends/floormates. But then again, life is always full of compromises.

The upcoming finals week did not start as auspiciously as I hoped for it to be. In fact, these last unfortunate events even came before the rain. It the weather was supposed to forewarn me of the problems, it is quite late. It is kind of annoying how almost everything bad that happens to me tend to happen on the day it rained. Perhaps that gives me a perfect explanation of why I do not like rain; it makes me paranoid and wet.

Despite the fact that I would love to rant more about my embitterment of the flawed registration system, I will not. Unless you would like to know that your life is not as bad as mine at the moment, feel free if you would like to know if I’m alright. Long story short, I am forbidden to enroll into two prerequisite classes for next semester. Now, the only alternative I have is to take two math classes that I have no knowledge of. Despite the fact that one math class is not related to the other, many people said that they regretted making the decision of taking the harder class before the easier. But whatever, I want to graduate on time.

Boy, has the time passed so quickly that I will soon have to move out the dorms. After staying here for four months now, I really can’t wait to go back home. My brothers just celebrated their birthdays, and it just saddens me that I had to miss it the first time. I stared at the facebook pictures that my brothers posted and I couldn’t help but cry. No, not the teary-eyed kind, more like the water pouring, sniffling, wah-wah kind. What bothers me even more is that I will not be able to see my family for most of the week when I’m at home. Technically, I won’t even be around for a whole weekend since I have to drive up by Sunday. I’ll find that the vacation will be slightly unproductive since I’ll be at home while my brothers and friends are at school and my sister at work. Ah, I will predict that I will be just working for my parents again, making some spare change here and there and come back up. That’s it.

It will be a lonely and short summer.

After being a Cal student for a semester and a half (almost two semesters! wow!), I find that it is VERY rare to have myself free from any homework during the weekends. If you have not heard my utter complaints about the rather long lab reports due every beginning of the week, you are very lucky. This week though, I was free of lab reports, confusing homework problems, and Mastering Physics! Hurrah!

To I guess celebrate for the free time, I decided to go to the dentist. Yeah, very exciting isn’t it? Well my top wisdom teeth decided to come out, which cause massive headaches during the week. Hopefully I will be able to wait it out until the summer and pull them out then instead of having to fly back. Afterwards, Eric and I went to the Berkeley’s Farmers’ Market, where we walked around and looked at all the interesting fruits and $10 orchids. I would have bought the orchids considering their long lifespan and it’s rather cheap price. Unfortunately, I already have a bouquet of real and fake flowers that I can barely find room for. Boo, well I guess I’ll consider buying it for the apartment during the summer.

Anyways, Eric and I later went to Jack London Square in Oakland. I have to say, it was rather uncomfortable walking in an urban area known for its high crime rates. Walking around Jack London Square was quite a pleasant experience, despite its small walking area. The plaza comprises of many fancy restaurants, a yacht showing, and random shops to look around. Eric and I decided to browse around Bevmo! since he wanted to buy another bottle of the Torino syrup to serve italian soda with. Along with that, we also bought some brie cheese and crackers to snack on during the week.

Since last summer, Eric and I have an inside joke where I strip his masculinity by treating him to a meal (typically dinner). Because he owed me about three dinners, he insisted on paying me back. I felt guilty because technically my mother tells mt to treat him as a “thank you” for the many favors that he does for me (such as walking me to the dentist), but it’s rather hard to say no to a persistant person taking me to a nice restaurant. So, we decided to go to Yoshi’s since I was very attracted to their menu the week before.

I was rather amazed how much Eric ordered: four rolls, one seaweed salad, and two desserts. The restaurant overall was delicious, and I was quite amused by the chef torching the salmon on the sushi roll. What bothered me the most in the dishes was a type of flavoring leaf that was used in their salad and in one of their rolls. To me, it tasted rather soapy and reminded me of lavendar tea I had with Ashley back in high school. I was interested in their Japanese/French dessert fusioned crème brûlée filled with red bean filling; though, I felt that the combination did not taste as suitable as a combination of peanut butter and jelly.

This week was rather…uneventful. Actually, no, there was a boat dance yesterday that was pretty fun. The Boat Dance that was hosted by our resident hall program rented a boat that had four floors filled with dance floors and rockband. It reminded me much of the high school dances at home, without the pictures sand corsage. I guess my mother will be happy to know that I wore the winter formal dress from senior year that she made me bring up. I felt a bit overdressed, oh well. What was nice about the event was that the boat actually drove from one side of the San Francisco Bay to the other side, and back; we got to see alot of nice buildings along with Pier 39. It was definitely a nice experience since it’s rather sad to know that college students will rarely ever be invited to these kinds of events.

Gah, I am bothered with my schedule dilemma for next year since I still have yet to fulfill an English requirement that I should get done soon, but my schedule is full as it is. I really want to go to Japan Town tomorrow since that’s another place I still have yet to visit. Though, I should be studying for finals…

I’ll let you in on a little secret that could be apparent to many people.

I have a difficulty trusting people.

Yes yes, those who grew up and burst most of their bubbles of ignorance realized that trusting just anyone is simply gullible. However, whenever I turn the tables to myself, I contemplate and become skeptical whether or not I have completely trusted myself. I guess you can say that’s another complete weakness of me that’s hindering me to become close to a large amount of people. Instead of socializing with a large group, I become more irritated by the noise and rather the “pressure” to talking to everyone. Conversing with a large amount of people in a short time makes conversations rather shallow and curt. I think I mentioned this before, but I’d much prefer having a one-on-one conversation with one or two people than a group.

There are times when I seriously contemplate whether or not I will become a hermit one day, though chances of that is highly unlikely. I wonder how people can stand being alone. Sure, once or twice would be a nice feeling to get away from the noise, but the feeling of loneliness is truthfully unbearable to me.

Short post for this. Kind of my fault since I haven’t really put much thought into this one since I’ve been pushing my thoughts away for this. I may extend this later.